See Me, Smell Me, Please Don't Eat Me

Let's focus for just a moment on Jessica Simpson. Not on her boobs, or meat-eating, or anything related to tunafish. Do you remember about five years ago, when her body-care line "Dessert" was popular? Well, I guess "popular" is a stretch. The line was all pink, plastic, and (worse) edible. The entire line was edible, and smelled edible, and looked edible. I always thought that was a little too weird- why, as Americans, do we need to eat the entire kitchen and then continue to lick our own calves?
Thus, my dismay upon learning about the upcoming collaboration between Sephora and Dylan's Candy Bar. I don't really understand what Dylan's is- it's an actual candy store, apparently three stories tall, that also sells clothing, shoes and pillows decorated with "DYLAN'S CANDY BAR".

I can't even begin to express my anger over shirts that have candy-related phrases or logos on them, so I'll let that one pass. But Sephora, Sephora is a shining heaven of new horizons (what did I just say?), it is an oasis of beautiful, life-changing products displayed beautifully and elegantly. When you walk into Sephora, you're a new woman with entirely new ideas.
These ideas do not include time-travel, or wanting to be 12 again and adorn yourself with lotions reminiscent of cupcakes. I don't know about anyone else, but the only time I allow myself to smell like food is during the holidays when Philosophy comes out with these babies:

But somehow, the use of Philosophy's food-inspired body washes still makes me feel mature and womanly, and doesn't leave me wanting to go hop on my Razor scooter and grab a Charleston Chew to munch while I watch "Boy Meets World".
I am disappointed that Sephora is teaming up with Dylan's, only because the idea will only make women look and act (and smell) younger, instead of looking and acting exactly the age that they are.